Damn the Ants

There are ants in my kitchen and ants in my bathroom. Little black ones that like to scurry up and down the wall to no place in particular. I can't seem to think of any real reason for their presence, except that my home is also particularly inviting to flies, moths, and even the occasional cockroach at the open of spring.
Once, my friend told me that her dad is some sort of expert communicator with animals and bugs and such. When her family had a problem with anthills in the yard, the ants decided to relocate because of the conversation held just the day before.
I refuse to call the bug professional people. They're expensive, and I have a compulsive need to DO IT MYSELF.
So this is my solution until I get actual ant repellant: WILL them to be gone. I summon all of my negative energy and send the ants lots of bad karma. And when that doesn't work (after a frustrating minute or so), I make an announcement in a slightly rebel/latino accent, "For coming into my house, you must now die. Tell your friends." Then they're squished to death.