There are certain unwritten rules that one, as a member of society, should obey:
1) when one gossips, bring the conversation to an uncomfortable halt and stare sort-of sideways at whoever walks within hearing distance
2) no farting in public, and if one does so, walk away quickly from the situation
3) apologize insincerely and give a brief explanation after which one says any of the following words: retarded, midget, fat (I'm sorry, I shouldn't even be typing this - I had to actually ask for help in coming up with these words)
4) Identify oneself outside the normal job description, marital/family status, acceptable extracurricular activities

I realized today that I am a self-proclaimer. Too many times do I think to myself, "Man, I'd be freaking AWESOME if I ________."
People aren't really supposed to talk about the image which they hope to project to society. These are the thoughts that, when asked, are consciously hidden away in hopes that no one actually finds out the real reason for which they do things. For example, if one chooses to wear cowboy boots, is this because one is really a cowboy? Or because one wants to be the fashion cowboy boot-wearing art person? Or because one's role model once wore cowboy boots?

This evening, I actually filled-in-the-blank with "was an art film expert." I should be embarrassed rather than boastful of my visions of being the girl who knows everything there is to know about independent films, FIRST. What is wrong with me that I actually admitted that this is my goal? To imagine myself studying and catching-up on what I've missed already and wearing certain clothes to fit the personality that I will portray? But I'm going against all standards in admitting that "I want to be that girl who's cool because she knows about cool stuff that not everyone knows, but only few other cool people."