My Life as a Kung Fu Fighter

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

I MADE this.

So I'm a proud person. I'm glad when I produce something that I like. I'm working on invitations - real ones - that someone is paying me for. A commissioned piece of work. It's no painting, but I'm liking the idea. Get money from people that like what you make.
I also like it when I put together a halfway decent outfit for the day; you know thOse days. Those days when you spend an extra amount of time ironing and getting the right shoes and you're hair is absolutely perfect. And then someone says you have a sense of style. I'm not one to hide my enthusiasm. In fact, I never understand those who try to act like they're not totally flattered by thOse comments.
And of course when my daughter has the most rockin' party of the year because I mAde the invitations, and the pinata, and the caterpillar cake that took 5 hours, and gave her the new Olivia book when no one else realizes just hOw important that is.
I made that little 4-year girl who is now 3'7," who can read and write and now practices the art of manipulation. I just figured out that she tells me "Sorry, mom," not because she's really sorry for something she did wrong, but instead uses the phrase to keep me from reprimanding her. She inherited my hair and my attitude, and I'm the happiest ever.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Who knew that miscarriage would bring presents?

In any sort of event at the Werner household, you can bet that I'm going to research it right away. For the 4th birthday coming up, I've Googled the Butterfly cake image gallery 1,000 times to find THE ONE. In the case of coughing and sneezing last winter when Amaris was sick every single month, we have a chart saved on the computer for the differences between allergies and colds, remedies, and a guide on when to take kids to the doctor. Recently, I've had to do my own reading on what exactly is happening with my body and this miscarriage. The one thing I didn't come across in any article was "What to gift a woman with upon learning of her miscarriage."
Here's a list of the stuff my family has benefitted from:
- soap and hand stuff to make them beautifully soft
- chicken soup and the company that it takes to eat it
- a book of "Sudoku puzzles for stress relief"
- pizza and a blog about me on August 8
- many kind words
- many insensitive words from the fucking nurse that I now hate
- more good well-wishes to cover up the bad ones about the nurse

Thursday, August 03, 2006

"Do you know what kharma means? It means that she owes me one."

7w1d. It's hard to believe, especially since I'm suffering absolutely no morning sickness. So yesterday I did the horrible self-diagnosis search on Google, "7 weeks pregnant and not nauseous???" As it turns out, I'm perfectly fine but simultaneously anxious to see the good doctor on Monday.
One symptom I'm definitely aware of: HUNGER. Every two hours, I have to eat. It's good practice, I suppose, for those feedings that will soon come.
So I must have done something right in my life, because I walked into the office on Tuesday with a gigantic mound of food piled on my desk. AAWWWW, my coworkers either a)LOVE ME, b)are sick of hearing me bitch about how starving I am, or c)are hoping for a chubby baby. Maybe it's a good combo of all three.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

My Life as a Pregnant Kung Fu Fighter

So here I am at about 5 1/2 weeks pregnant. Prior to these pictures, there was a lot of freaking out and trying to figure out the Spanish instructions in the pregnancy test literature. Husband: "Are you sure? The lines look really faint.... Oh, yeah - it looks just like that picture." And then coming to the realization that, "OH, thAt's why my pants don't fit anymore and why I'm in a constant state of hunger."

Now I'm contemplating the reality that there will absolutely be 6 beings living within 1200 square feet.

Here are some of my hopes for an inevitable life-change:
Money will grow on trees.
Yoga, in the end, will pay-off, and I'll be the poster child for natural labor.
Fairies will magically appear on a weekly basis to clean my bathroom and floors.
A shell of good karma will envelope this house and everyone in it.