My Life as a Kung Fu Fighter

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Yoga is so good to me.
And this is weird, because I'm not the yoga type. I'm the high-strung-obsessed-with-my-ovaries-wish-i-could-eat-a-pound-of-sugar-each-hour-on-the-hour-type.
I'm good at tree pose, and my downward facing dog really IS turning into a resting position.

But I fart every single blasted time.

I go into class thinking, "hey, self, just do some kegels, tighten up the buttocks, and breathe."

And then I fart. Not one of those, "hee hee, I hope no one smells that even though it was quiet."
It's a low, rumbling kind of fart.

And then there's laughing. Not from the other yogis - NO, because they're totally fine with the meditation and the breathing and the posing. It's ME. I giggle and can't stop. So then I have to look around to see if anyone has noticed my awkward behavior. Last week my teacher threw her sweater at me.

Then later? I tooted when she corrected my position. So there's more giggling and an apology.

Next week's mission is to focus on my chi. Somehow my brain will convince my body not to let out the excess gas until AFTER class. In the car, where it's perfectly normal to fart and curse and pick your nose.


Blogger Amy said...

Some people are just farty in class.

What might help is to take some Gas X on days that you have class, maybe 4 hours or so before. Then drink lots of water to wash it through. Then fart everything out in the car.

Also, maybe avoid mass quantities of beans the day before.

9:15 AM  
Blogger rob said...

hahahahah. Oh my god. Gas X. I've turned into my family.

11:52 AM  
Blogger CheyneD said...

wow. this is awesome.

7:48 AM  
Anonymous breanne said...

Whoa, mama!!!

I've tooted in pilates before. And I've heard my mom do the same thing, right in front of me.

4:38 PM  
Anonymous adam said...

I just farted. It's probably because of ingesting soy milk despite the fact that by body doesn't take well to soy products, but I insist on using them when the guilt of the way dairy cows are treated begin to overwhelm my conscience. Ummm, that's not like a yoga or pilates thing, but lots of people who do yoga like soy milk, or at least they advertise soy milk in yoga magazines....



7:04 PM  

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