With the help of my friend Matthew, I determined that I can be a little judgmental sometimes. I realize this more now that my daughter and her classmates are beginning to make her own judgment calls. One little kid at her school actually said that he didn't want any Spanish-speaking kids to come to his birthday party, because he wouldn't be able to understand what they're saying.

Yikes.

More so than that, though, I figured out that I use other people's judgment calls as my own. It's all in friendship and support, really, based on their own actual experiences instead of my flighty, judgey whims.

Today I went to my friend's baby's birthday. Of course the whole family is going to be there, including the crazy part of the family. After story upon story of how exactly these people have proved themselves to exist on the insane side of the spectrum, I practically own the rights (by association) to make judgments against them, right? Right. Periodically, I overhear their comments and the evaluation begins.

"baby, baBY, BABY! It's your book! LOOK! It's your BOOK!"
**put the damned book down. she doesn't give two shits about the book.**

"Do you want to say goodbye? Yes! Let's say goodbye!"
**stop smothering her. plus, if she wanted to say goodbye, she would have by now.**

After present opening, "We bought her this, TOO!"
**so? my present is cooler.**

But by the time I made that last remark in my head, I realized that they can sound perfectly normal and grandparenty, and I will always think, sometimes out-loud, "Did anyone just HEAR that??? What the fuck?" This is wrong of me! So wrong! But there are some people who will always need to be judged carefully, lest we slip up and start thinking they're normal again. They might just catch us by surprise one day and say something completely off-the-wall, and then we'll regret all that niceness we wasted.

This might be a fucked-up mentality, but I can pretty much estimate that it's not as fucked up as those clothes you're wearing right now.